Monster Prick, by Kendall Ryan

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Grade: B

Doing it at:  49%

Catnip:  Brother’s Best Friend, Secret Lovers, Your First and Your Last, Novella, Dual Narrative, Dirty Talk, Virgin, Teach Me Tonight

Shame Scale: Low shame, the guy on the cover is fully dressed!

Fantasy Cast:  Penn Badgley, Leighton Meester

Book Description:

Over my dead body.

That’s what I told Gracie when she informed me of her plan to pick some random guy she met online to get rid of her pesky virginity.

If anyone is touching her, it’s going to be me.

I shouldn’t even be considering it, but I can’t get it out of my head: her, under me, begging me.

***
Arrogant. Cocky. Prick.

Those are the words I’d use to describe my older brother’s dangerously handsome best friend.

When he learned of my plan to kick off my white cotton briefs, ditching my good girl persona once and for all by losing my virginity to the first eligible bachelor I could find, he flipped out. Said over his dead body.

He says if anyone’s going to do it, it’s going to be him.

I hate that I’m even considering his offer.

But I am … I sooo am.

Ever since he suggested it, all I can think about is his cocky smile on those full lips as he’s driving in to me.

But if we cross that line … will I ever be able to go back?

MONSTER PRICK, a sexy romantic comedy, is a spin off novella from SCREWED, but can be read as a standalone, as it features a new couple.


We read Kendall Ryan’s last release Screwed, which introduced the main characters in Monster Prick, Grace and Hudson.  And there was no way I wasn’t reading a book entitled Monster Prick, well played Ms. Ryan, well played. This is a novella length story, which can easily be read in one sitting. It’s a fluffy palate cleanser with some good sex scenes sprinkled throughout.

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Uncivilized, by Sawyer Bennett

Uncivilized

Grade: B

Doing it at: 29%

Catnip: George of the Jungle, Tarzan, Crocodile Dundee, Stranger in a Strange Land, Strong Female Lead, Hot for Teacher, Clits Ahoy, #TeamAnal

Shame Scale: I mean sure, the guy on the cover is pinning his gal down, ready to plunge, but she looks really happy about it.

What does he taste like?: Salty… earthy like the forest

Fantasy Cast:  Bryce Dallas Howard, Jake Gyllenhaal

Book Description:

Putting a woman on her knees before me is what really makes my cock hard. I fuck with dominant force and absolute control. I demand complete surrender from my conquests. 

Savage man, loner, warrior… I am dangerous at my core. I have lived amidst the untamed wild of the rainforest, in a society that reveres me and where every woman falls before me in subjugation. 

Now I’ve been discovered. Forced to return to a world that I have forgotten about and to a culture that is only vaguely familiar to my senses. 

Dr. Moira Reed is an anthropologist who has been hired to help me transition back into modern society. It’s her job to smooth away my rough edges… to teach me how to navigate properly through this new life of mine. She wants to tame me. 

She’ll never win. 

I am wild, free and raw, and the only thing I want from the beautiful Moira Reed is to fuck her into submission. 

She wants it, I am certain. 

I will give it to her soon. 

Yes, very soon, I will become the teacher and she will become my student. And when I am finished showing her body pleasure like no other, she’ll know what it feels like to be claimed by an uncivilized man.


Mary: We met Sawyer Bennett at the Black and Gold Author Event a few weeks ago and she was delightful – plus she was wearing a Steeler’s Jersey, and we have to love a gal who reps for us. She has a bunch of hockey books and a series that’s about lawyers n’at, but Uncivilized was the book that really caught our eye. It’s about a hot guy who’s been living in the jungle, and the sexy anthropologist who has to bring him back to civilization and teach him to wear clothes and use silverware. Our BookShame manifesto basically requires that we read it.

Also, we have an autographed copy that we’ll be giving away, so keep your eyes on Facebook for a chance to win it!

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Worth Any Price, Lisa Kleypas

worth any price

Grade: B+

Doing it at:  48%

Catnip: Historicals, Your First and Your Last, Shower Sex, Rescue Me, Fake it Till You Make It

Shame Scale: Kleypas is the creme de la creme of modern historical romance, low shame.

Fantasy Cast:  Aidan Turner, Mia Wasikowska

Book Description:

Nick Gentry, the most seductive and dangerous man in England, has been sent to find Charlotte Howard, a runaway bride who has disappeared without a trace. But when he finds her, Nick is stunned by the intensity of his attraction to the elusive young woman whose adventurous spirit matches his own.

Determined to escape a forced marriage to a man who will destroy her, Charlotte agrees to an audacious bargain . . . she will become Nick Gentry’s bride. But soon she discovers that Nick has secrets of his own, and it will take all her wits and stubborn will to tame his tormented soul.

In the desperate quest to protect Charlotte from the diabolical aristocrat who threatens her, one thing becomes clear:

To save the woman he loves, Nick will take any risk . . . and pay any price.


I’ve been buried neck deep in contemporary romance and realized that its been months since I dove into a historical. Having received an avalanche of Amazon gift cards for my birthday I got myself Worth Any Price, which has been on my wishlist for months. Lisa Kleypas is my favorite historical romance author. I consider her Wallflower series required reading for any romance fan, and credit the girls over at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books with turning me on to her.

Worth Any Price is book three in the Bow Street Runner series, I haven’t read the other two (I Know I Know), but was able to follow the story just fine without it. Kleypas’ series books can usually be read as stand-alones that are enhanced by having read the previous books but it isn’t a do or die.

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The Professional, by Kresley Cole

The Professional

Grade: A

Doing it at: 54% – but this book gets seriously hot starting around 15%

Catnip: Russian Mobsters; Mafia; Virgin; Overprotective men; He’s basically a criminal; BDSM; Sex Club; Kidnapping; Rags to Riches; “Your first and your last”; Russian Pillow Talk; International Romance; Dick-Glamoured; #TeamAnal; Guffaw

Shame Scale: This is a WONDERFUL shame read. The cover is mildly shameful, the book is all the shame. The plot is absurd, and filled with sex. The swoon-worthy hero is literally a killer who wants to own the heroine. And yet it’s genuinely funny, and pretty hot.

Fantasy Casting: Jason Momoa and Emma Stone

Book Description:

“He makes the rules…

Mafiya enforcer Aleksei “The Siberian” Sevastyan’s loyalty to his boss knows no bounds, until he meets the boss’s long-lost daughter, a curvy, feisty redhead who haunts his mind and heats his blood like no other. Ordered to protect her, Aleksei will do anything to possess her as well—on his own wicked terms.

Rules are made to be broken…

Grad student Natalie Porter had barely recovered from her first sight of the dark and breathtaking Sevastyan before the professional enforcer whisks her away to Russia, thrusting her into a world of extreme wealth and wanton pleasures. Every day under his protection leads her deeper under his masterful spell.

Are you ready to play?

Yet all is not as it seems. To remove Natalie from an enemy’s reach, Sevastyan spirits her into hiding. From an opulent palace in Russia to the decadent playgrounds of the mega-wealthy in Paris, the two lovers will discover that even their darkest—and most forbidden—fantasies can come true…”


The Professional had the kind of plot one often finds in a good Shame Book: A ridiculous one involving kidnapping (to save her life!), the mafia, hit men, billionaires, international travel without a passport, high class BDSM sex clubs, a virgin, and tons of sex. I loved it. Kresley Cole managed to throw together all kinds of catnip and romance tropes and keep it fairly cohesive, and not too cliched. Also, our hero is constantly throwing out sexy phrases in Russian, and I learned that I find Russian pillow talk insanely hot.

Natalie is a poor, adopted college student who has been working two jobs to make enough money to search for her biological parents via DNA testing. Then one day a smoking hot Russian mafiya enforcer (because in Russia I guess it’s the mafiYa and not just the mafia) shows up and tells her she is the billionaire daughter of a big mafiya leader, and that she’s moving to Russia effective immediately because there’s a threat on her life. Natalie balks, as any smart modern woman would do when a strange man breaks into her house, watches her masturbate (aka “diddling the da, spelunking, dialing the pink telephone” lololol), and then tries to force her to move to Russia. So of course as they do in these kinds of books, Sevastyan kidnaps her, and puts her on a special plane to Russia where she apparently won’t need a passport. (Nope, sorry, I don’t believe that.) Natalie and Sevastyan find they have that instant inexplicable electric chemistry, which they explore on the plane with some 69’ing like one does. Sevastyan is shocked that she is a virgin, and vows that it won’t happen again, because she is not for him, he’s a bad guy and bla bla bla cliche.

They get to Russia, Natalie becomes Natalya – I love that name – and she meets her biological father who never knew she existed. He is a Mafiya don, but a kind one, who’s only doing it to protect his people, you guys. All he really wants to do is repair clocks. Her father and Sevastyan tell her that she’s going to have to stay at the compound till the threat on her life is eliminated, but that they hope she will consider moving there permanently and making Russia her new home. Natalya adjusts rather quickly and seems to love her new papa from the start. I don’t want to get any more into the plot because I’d just be getting spoiler-y, but it’s ridiculous, and fun, and blush inducing, and such a good shame-read.

I loved the romance between Natalie/Natalya and Sevastyan. He’s the brutish Russian killer alpha stereotype, but she is no blushing daisy – despite her virginal status. Sevastyan orders her around, and is overprotective and possessive like Cleone and I love (even though we know we shouldn’t), but Natalie actually manages to strike a good balance between giving it right back to him, and wilting when it would make for good sexy-time. And the sexy-time in this one is excellent. Well paced, descriptive but not cringe-inducing (no dripping, no loins, no fountains of love). And she loses her virginity in the shower, standing up. That pretty much never happens in these books, where virginity must be carefully and romantically claimed in a bed after copious “readying” oral.

My favorite character, however, was Jess, Natalie’s best friend, and I was terribly disappointed to learn that she is not the focus of the next book in the series, ‘The Master.’ She reminded me of my favorite friends, and had the best lines in the book by far — she refers to Natalie’s trip as a “gangster rumspringa,” and accuses Natalie of being “dick-glamoured.*” She had me guffawing at several points, for example:

“How the hell do you call Russia from Greece? It’s like trying to figure out real-fucking-tivity. And still, I gave it several shots. Of Ouzo. Seriously, you have no idea how much your situation is affecting me. I’ve been stress-eating my way across Greece.” I frowned. “You don’t stress-eat–” “Cock, Natalie. I was stress-eating cock. There, you made me say it, happy now?”

If anything, my big complaint was that there didn’t seem to be enough edge-of-my-seat conflict. The “danger” part of the plot wound down around the middle of the book, and the second half was pretty much all sex and relationship drama. Their big romantic challenge/conflict was that he didn’t share enough, and he was being too gentle with her. He refused to give her the anal she NEEDED, and she told him she might just have to go get it somewhere else. This was really hard for Sevastyan to overcome. Despite the absurdity of this entire book, it was really well written, and hilarious. I would have gone with an A-, but decided to bump it up to an A because I couldn’t stop laughing.

*Note: dick-glamouring is a real thing in Shame Books, and I’m definitely going to be using this phrase liberally from now on.

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