Sordid, by Nikki Sloane

sordid

Grade: B-

Doing it at: This is making me feel squicky, but we’ll go with 13%

Catnip: Light College Romance JK LOL, Banned books, Dark Romance, Serbian Mafia Car Salesmen, Serbian Pillowtalk, Just The Tip, Nonconsensual Sex, Choking, Bondage, #TeamAnal, We Like What We Like

Shame Scale: Every bit of shame you could possibly muster

Fantasy Cast:  Amy Jo Johnson circa Felicity, plus Ian Somerhalder

Book Description:

It took me years to find the courage to speak to Luka. He seemed exactly like me. Intelligent. Focused. Serious.

But he’s not the man I imagined.

His reality is cruel and dark. He traps me in his web, his power twisting tighter the more I struggle, until it’s hopeless. I can’t break free.

As he drags me unwillingly into his filthy world, I can’t ignore the terrifying idea circling my mind. What if I belong here with him?


Mary: There’s been some buzz about Nikki Sloane’s Sordid for awhile now, after Amazon banned it from their site for “offensive content.” So duh, we had to have it. Tell me I can’t have something and I’ll want it double.

Cleone: Plus we were like, how bad can it be really? We’ve read lots of twisted sex books in our romance rabbit hole.

Mary: We picked it up on Smashwords, but you can still buy it on iBooks and Kobo. And then we decided that it sounded like the perfect book to read during our Autumn camping trip to Shenandoah National Park with all our children and my mom.

Cleone: Nothing says wholesome family fun like buddy reading some BDSM amongst stunning fall foliage, as your children frolic nearby.

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Bad Boy Daddy, by Chance Carter

bad boy daddy

Grade: D+ (A+)

Doing it at: 14%

Catnip: Motorcycles, Tattoos, Bad to the Bone, Hard and Unprotected, Intentional Pregnancy, #TeamAnal, Butt Stuff, Dual Narrative, Book Shame, Male Author, So Bad it’s Good, Red Hot Burning Shame, But It Was 99 Cents…

Shame Scale: Red Hot Burning Shame. Like this is essentially the epitome of a shame book. Look at that cover! Blue Steel! And the writing is over the top and unintentionally hilarious.

Fantasy Cast: Ian Somerhalder, Claire Holt

Book Description:

He wanted a baby. I needed a man.

Faith
The first time I saw Jackson, I hated his guts. He was everything I could never have. Pure, panty-wetting, manhood. And I was trapped in a loveless relationship with his worst enemy. I never would have dreamed he craved my womb so badly he was willing to do anything for it.

Jackson
My father’s death taught me a lot of things. Most importantly, I needed a child. I had to have a son before my enemies caught up with me. So when Faith came begging for protection, I knew exactly what I wanted. I yearned for her body. Lust raged through me like a wildfire. I longed to make her pregnant with my child. I gave her an offer she couldn’t refuse. A life for a life. My protection, in exchange for everything she had to offer. I’d die for her, but she would give me a son.

I took her womb. I never suspected she’d take my heart.


Cleone: Mary and I were still battling fierce The Play book hangovers this weekend, and looking for a new book to buddy read. She was at a boring party (at her own house) and I was lying in bed doing what I always do on Saturday nights (going to bed before 11 pm), when we decided to tackle Bad Boy Daddy. In no way do we regret this decision. This book is so bad that it looped right around and became good again.

Mary: We picked this one up awhile ago because it was 99 cents and had an A+ cover and title combo. It rivals Knocked Up By The Bad Boy in terms of level of cheese. But we hadn’t gotten around to it, and lately it feels like we’ve strayed from our roots, sticking to books from our tried and true authors and avoiding the occasional over-the-top cheap romance from someone we’ve never heard of before (Step Beast I promise I’ll get to you soon!). There have been a ton of new releases this fall we’ve been really excited about, and Cleone got a stupid new JOB so she doesn’t have as much time to waste on books that might not be all that great. But we had a book hangover, and we needed a palate cleanser, and fuck it, why not.

Bad boy daddy 1

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The Play, by Karina Halle

The Play

Grade: A+

Doing it at: 33%

Catnip: Hot Scot, A Foreign Affair, Puppy Love, Tattoos, Beards, Strong Female Lead, Big Brooding Hero, Brogue, Hot Scot, Rugby Players, Epic, Deep Dark Secrets, Shower Sex, Dual Narrative, #DISP, #TeamAnal

Shame Scale: Not a drop, The Play is a big, sweeping romance that will break your heart and you will feel fine recommending to anyone (no machetes in this one!)

Fantasy Cast: Tom Hardy, Kristin Kreuk

Book Description:

A troubled Scottish rugby player who doesn’t play by the rules.
A vivacious man-eater who’s given up on love.
When it comes to Lachlan and Kayla, opposites don’t just attract – they explode.

From the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and USA Today Bestselling author of The Pact and The Offer, comes The Play, a standalone spinoff and contemporary romance about taking chances and rescuing hearts.

Kayla Moore has always been comfortable with her feisty, maneating reputation. At least it was fine until she hit her thirties and saw her best friends Stephanie and Nicola settle down with Linden and Bram McGregor, leaving Kayla to be the odd one out. Tired of being the third wheel with nothing but one-night stands and dead-end dates in San Francisco, Kayla decides to take a vow of celibacy and put men on the backburner.

That is until she lays her eyes on Linden and Bram’s cousin, hot Scot Lachlan McGregor. Lachlan is her sexual fantasy come to life – tall, tatted, and built like a Mack truck. With a steely gaze and successful rugby career back in Edinburgh, he’s the kind of man that makes her want to throw her vow right out the window. But Lachlan’s quiet and intense demeanor makes him a hard man to get to know, let alone get close to.

It isn’t until the two of them are thrown together one long, unforgettable night that Kayla realizes there is so much more to this brooding macho man than what meets the eye. But even with sparks flying between the two, Lachlan can’t stay in America forever. Now, Kayla has to decide whether to uproot her whole life and chance it all on someone she barely knows or risk getting burned once again.

Sometimes love is a game that just needs to be played.


Mary: By now you all probably realize that we’re a little evangelical about Karina Halle new releases. We’re fan girls and it’s hard for us to have any chill. But this book, you guys. This was the best thing I’ve read all year. Ridiculously sexy, achingly evocative, this one dragged us all over the emotional map.

PLUS: $1 from every preorder/release day sale is going to save-the-puppy charities, which is so fucking generous you guys – it’s a $3 book. And I’m not saying that a month of rescue dogs flooding my news feed sparked the start of a long-con on my husband so that we can get a puppy, but I will say that I will probably have a doggie by Christmastime.

Cleone: Rescue pups play a big part in the book, and this one had me hugging my pup extra tight (for support while I cried). AND looking at local dogs for adoption, for Mary ostensibly.

M: The Play is huge; it’s really two novels in one. Karina Halle generously sent us ARC’s for early review, but we got it in two chunks, roughly two weeks apart. So we read the first half and then tried to live normal lives even though we were basically dead inside, waiting for the second half. We could really do this whole review via text screenshots.

Play hangover

play hangover 1

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Uncivilized, by Sawyer Bennett

Uncivilized

Grade: B

Doing it at: 29%

Catnip: George of the Jungle, Tarzan, Crocodile Dundee, Stranger in a Strange Land, Strong Female Lead, Hot for Teacher, Clits Ahoy, #TeamAnal

Shame Scale: I mean sure, the guy on the cover is pinning his gal down, ready to plunge, but she looks really happy about it.

What does he taste like?: Salty… earthy like the forest

Fantasy Cast:  Bryce Dallas Howard, Jake Gyllenhaal

Book Description:

Putting a woman on her knees before me is what really makes my cock hard. I fuck with dominant force and absolute control. I demand complete surrender from my conquests. 

Savage man, loner, warrior… I am dangerous at my core. I have lived amidst the untamed wild of the rainforest, in a society that reveres me and where every woman falls before me in subjugation. 

Now I’ve been discovered. Forced to return to a world that I have forgotten about and to a culture that is only vaguely familiar to my senses. 

Dr. Moira Reed is an anthropologist who has been hired to help me transition back into modern society. It’s her job to smooth away my rough edges… to teach me how to navigate properly through this new life of mine. She wants to tame me. 

She’ll never win. 

I am wild, free and raw, and the only thing I want from the beautiful Moira Reed is to fuck her into submission. 

She wants it, I am certain. 

I will give it to her soon. 

Yes, very soon, I will become the teacher and she will become my student. And when I am finished showing her body pleasure like no other, she’ll know what it feels like to be claimed by an uncivilized man.


Mary: We met Sawyer Bennett at the Black and Gold Author Event a few weeks ago and she was delightful – plus she was wearing a Steeler’s Jersey, and we have to love a gal who reps for us. She has a bunch of hockey books and a series that’s about lawyers n’at, but Uncivilized was the book that really caught our eye. It’s about a hot guy who’s been living in the jungle, and the sexy anthropologist who has to bring him back to civilization and teach him to wear clothes and use silverware. Our BookShame manifesto basically requires that we read it.

Also, we have an autographed copy that we’ll be giving away, so keep your eyes on Facebook for a chance to win it!

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Dark Wild Night, by Christina Lauren

dark wild night

Grade: A

Doing it at: 43%

Catnip: Friends to Lovers, Beta Hero, Aussies, #TeamAnal, Shower Sex, Strong Female Lead, Bulge Talk

Shame Scale: Super low shame, it’s a fantastic book – but it gets pretty steamy so you’re not going to want to read this one while you’re waiting in the lobby to talk to your kid’s preschool teacher.

Fantasy Cast: This version of Tom Welling, Mila Kunis

Book Description:

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS. BUT WHAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN VEGAS SEEMS TO FOLLOW THEM EVERYWHERE—Book Three in the sexy, fun New York Times bestselling Wild Seasons series that began with Sweet Filthy Boy (the Romantic Times Book of the Year) and Dirty Rowdy Thing.

Lola and Oliver like to congratulate themselves on having the good sense not to consummate their drunken Las Vegas marriage. If they’d doubled-down on that mistake, their Just Friends situation might not be half as great as it is now.

…Or so goes the official line.

In reality, Lola’s wanted Oliver since day one—and over time has only fallen harder for his sexy Aussie accent and easygoing ability to take her as she comes. More at home in her studio than in baring herself to people, Lola’s instinctive comfort around Oliver nearly seems too good to be true. So why ruin a good thing?

Even as geek girls fawn over him, Oliver can’t get his mind off what he didn’t do with Lola when he had the chance. He knows what he wants with her now…and it’s far outside the friend zone. When Lola’s graphic novel starts getting national acclaim—and is then fast-tracked for a major motion picture—Oliver steps up to be there for her whenever she needs him. After all, she’s not the kind of girl who likes all that attention, but maybe she’s the kind who’ll eventually like him.

Sometimes seeing what’s right in front of us takes a great leap of faith. And sometimes a dark wild night in Vegas isn’t just the end of a day, but the beginning of a bright new life…


Mary: Alright guys. Book three in the Wild Seasons series, all of which are fantastic. Seriously, this series is a top five for me. Heart stopping romance, perfectly dreamy heroes, and love scenes that are almost poetic.

Cleone: We read the other two books BBS (Before Book Shame), so this is our first chance to talk about how much we love this series and book boyfriends Ansel and Finn.

M: Lola and Oliver are the last pair in their friend circle who haven’t hooked up yet. They were married (and annulled) in Vegas along with Ansel and Mia, and Finn and Harlow in the beginning of Sweet Filthy Boy, but unlike their friends, they did not consummate things, and have kept things strictly, rigidly, in the best friend zone ever since.

Of course, the two other couples who hooked up in Vegas – our friends Mia and Ansel, and Harlow and Finn – are happily married. But Oliver and I occasionally (especially when drunk) like to commend ourselves for being the only ones who did the shotgun Vegas wedding thing like normal people: with nothing but regret, an annulment, and a hangover.

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Priest, by Sierra Simone

Priest

Grade: B-

Doing it at: 47%

Catnip: Man of the Cloth, Stripper With A Heart Of Gold, Forbidden Romance, Outercourse, Just The Tip, Creative Lube, #TeamAnal, #DISP

Shame Scale: All the shame. Ridiculously sexy erotica about a priest and a stripper, with every religious sexual metaphor you could possibly dream up.

What Do We Taste Like?: Sweeter than salvation and communion wine.

Fantasy Cast: James McAvoy, Sophia Bush

Book Description:

There are many rules a priest can’t break. A priest cannot marry. A priest cannot abandon his flock. A priest cannot forsake his God.

I’ve always been good at following rules.

Until she came. Then I learned new rules.

My name is Tyler Anselm Bell. I’m twenty-nine years old. Six months ago, I broke my vow of celibacy on the altar of my own church, and God help me, I would do it again. 

I am a priest and this is my confession.

This was actually my third foray into the world of priest romance. The first was The Thornbirds, when I was approximately 12, and it taught me everything I know about sex that I hadn’t already learned in Clan of the Cave Bear. The second was A Little Too Far, by Lisa Desrochers, and it was extremely disappointing because it was billed as the double trash whammy of a stepbrother/girl/priest love triangle, but there ended up not even being any priest sex. This book though? Had copious, gratuitous, ridiculous priest sex, plus the hottest game of Just The Tip I’ve ever read (and a sweet little romance to boot)

Father Bell is the priest in a rural town outside of St.Louis that reminded me of Tree Hill or Stars Hollow – a nice little community where people go to church and everyone knows everyone. He’s manning the confessional one morning, counting down till get out of there and do things that priest like to do on their afternoons off, like watch The Walking Dead and go jogging while listening to vintage Britney, when Poppy slips into the booth.

She confesses that she’s not Catholic and has never been to confession, but she has been doing Bad Things, and feels like maybe this would help. She doesn’t go into details, but implies that the Bad Things are sexual in nature, and Father Bell immediately gets a boner. He steps out of the booth at the end of her confession to explain penance to Poppy face to face, and he’s all:

mistake 2

Because Poppy is stacked, with big red harlot’s lips, and Father Bell feels tempted for the first time since he took his vows. Father Bell starts thinking about all the Bad Things he wants to do to Poppy, specifically involving his steeple and those big, red lips of hers. He wants to know her. He wants to know her real hard.

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Him, by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy

Him

Grade: A-

Doing it at: 55%

Catnip: Hockey Players, Friends to Lovers, Childhood Crush, Summer Camp Romance, All the Feels, Tattoos, All of the P, None of the V, Dual Narrative, #TeamAnal

Shame Scale: Low shame. This was a sweet book.

Fantasy Cast: Kris Letang, David Rundblad

What do we taste like?: the rain, beer, something addictively masculine

Book Description:

They don’t play for the same team. Or do they?

Jamie Canning has never been able to figure out how he lost his closest friend. Four years ago, his tattooed, wise-cracking, rule-breaking roommate cut him off without an explanation. So what if things got a little weird on the last night of hockey camp the summer they were eighteen? It was just a little drunken foolishness. Nobody died. 

Ryan Wesley’s biggest regret is coaxing his very straight friend into a bet that pushed the boundaries of their relationship. Now, with their college teams set to face off at the national championship, he’ll finally get a chance to apologize. But all it takes is one look at his longtime crush, and the ache is stronger than ever. 

Jamie has waited a long time for answers, but walks away with only more questions— 
can one night of sex ruin a friendship? If not, how about six more weeks of it? When Wesley turns up to coach alongside Jamie for one more hot summer at camp, Jamie has a few things to discover about his old friend…and a big one to learn about himself. 


I recently read The Deal, by Elle Kennedy – which was also about a hockey player – and liked it a bunch. So when I saw that she was collaborating with Sarina Bowen on a M/M hockey romance, that was pretty much all I needed to hear to pre-order it. I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll keep on saying it: M/M romance is super hot you guys. All of the P, none of the V. It’s all rock hard abs and tight buns, with nary a boob in sight.

This one starts out with Ryan Wesley (Wes) and Jamie Canning, two college hockey players on opposite sides of the country, realizing that they’re both about to play in a big important championship series (sorrynotsorry, I don’t know if it was a real series or not because I could give a fuck about sports), and might see each other after four years of silence. Jamie and Wes were best friends growing up, spending summers together at hockey camp in Lake Placid, but Wes cut off all contact with Jamie when they went to college. Jamie has always been pretty butt sore about it (hehehe), and they’re both wondering if their teams are going to play each other in the series, and what it’s going to be like to see each other.

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