Grade: D (Probably should be a D-, but it made me guffaw)
Doing it at: 0%
Catnip: BBW; Werebears; Rope; Shifter Menage Erotic Romance; WTF; Free!
Shame scale: Red Hot Burning Shame. Obviously.
Fantasy casting: Some blonde plus-size model and a rugby team
Big, beautiful Hannah is innocent and alone in the mountains. Alone except for the uncommonly big men at Great Bear Inn. The men share a secret, and they are hungry to share Hannah.
Hannah hasn’t had the kind of appreciation the big men of the mountain have to give her.
They are the last of their line and Hannah is their only hope. But will she, can she take the heat of their rough and rising needs?
WARNING: This story bursts with red-hot sex. Not advised to be read in public.
I subscribe to Bookbub emails because free books, and I’m constantly seeing links to BBW Shifter Menage books. I guess this is a thing? They’re almost always 99 cents, which is a fortune so I pass, but when I saw that “Great Bear Inn (Sassy BBW Alpha Werebear pack BDSM shifter menage erotic romance): Bearback Lust of the Alpha (Werebear Alpha BDSM Book 1)” was available for free, I thought why the fuck not? I like to think that I subscribe to the Dan Savage perspective on kink: It’s not my kink, but it’s cool if it’s yours. Obviously, I knew that this was a fetish book going into it. And I’ll try anything once (or thrice).
This was a novella length, so no big commitment. Hanna struggles with her weight, her mom bullies her, yada yada yada. She takes a trip up to the Great Bear Inn to photograph some nature, and upon checking in, the giant, bearded proprietors make it clear they want to get on with the banging, and the plot can fuck right off. The shifter bits are very secondary to the plot, and felt like they were just shoved in there to make it fit the genre. Even the sex was fairly formulaic, and entirely too one-on-one for a menage. I had seriously high hopes for this book, because the cover was all “look, the catnip is all in the title!” All in all, the writing was god awful and they didn’t deliver on all the shit they promised. I was eye rolling, lol’ing, and highlighting the crap out of all the text I wanted to send to Cleone. Also, this may seem like I’m nitpicking, but there is a double space between each paragraph, like you normally see when there is a change of scene, and it kept making my brain think we were pausing and moving on to something else with every single new paragraph.
Without further ado, I’m just going to leave these excerpts here for you, because this book really should speak for itself:
Her voice shook, “What if somebody comes?” His voice was a soft growl, “Nobody will. Only you.” He raised his head and looked into her rolling eyes. “A few times, at least. Then me.”
His tongue. Her clit felt it’s wet strength.
When they came, they crested together. They both held each others’ hands so tight it was a wrestle and, as the beads stood out on his brow, he buried his head in her full enfolding breasts and he shouted as he blasted his fountain of love against the soft needing darkness deep within her.
His fountain of love, you guys.