Revelry, by Carmen Jenner

reverlry

Grade: B-

Doing it at: 53%

Catnip: Rock Stars; Threesomes; Trouser Snakes; Circle Jerk; Down Under; Dual Narrative; Limo Sex; Elevator Sex; Love Triangle; #TeamAnal

Shame scale: I feel like I should be more ashamed of book this than I am, to be honest. You can certainly not lend this one to your dad, or your sweet old great Aunt, or walk into a church carrying it.

Fantasy casting: Adam Levine, Lauren Ambrose, Josh Mario John

Book Description:

Cooper Ryan is living the dream. Between the parties with rock royalty, booze, groupies and performing to crowds of thousands with his band Taint, life seems pretty sweet. There’s just one thing missing: the feisty little red-head that took his baby and ran off with his heart. Throwing himself into music is the only thing keeping him sane.

Until a run-in with a nonplussed, package-wielding PA throws everything off balance.

Ali Jones is having a craptastic life. Her grandmother died, leaving her homeless, penniless, and alone, and her boyfriend left her for a tramp who takes her clothes off for money. That’s why when she lands her dream job at a record company it seems like it’s too good to be true.

Because it is.

Slapped with an ultimatum, Ali must decide if facing the horror of the unemployment line is a fate worse than going on the road with four rowdy rockers hell-bent on making her life misery.

He’s adored by millions.
She’s not even loved by her cat.

Can they ignore their hatred long enough to survive the tour from hell? Or will their chemistry force everything to come crashing down around them?

Oh guys, this book. I started following Love Between the Sheets on Facebook, and those ladies are constantly posting books to tempt me even though our family library cup already runneth over. When Taint popped up I HAD to have it, rock star romances are a big catnip, as is hate into love, and tour buses (being on tour is kind of like being at summer camp, which is also hot). Taint gave me all the stuff I expected and about a million things I didn’t, in all the best ways.

Ali, who I’m a pretty big fan of, is not living her best life. She’s sleeping in her car, her ex boyfriend is an awful douche who moved a stripper into their apartment without asking and then started screwing her, and she has zero living family members. The only semi good thing she has going is that she landed a shitty job at a record company that she wants to parlay into her dream job of music management someday. Except she has the bad (?) luck of stumbling into a management meeting for the newly christened Taint (I KNOW), literally stumbling and landing on her knees in front of Cooper Ryan, the band’s lead singer. He’s nursing a fierce broken heart over an entirely different red-head and decides on a whim to add her to his negotiations. Ali tries to protest that this isn’t her job, not at all what she was hired for, and no way is she going to become the personal assistant to this band of assholes. She’s overruled and now she’s living in her car, showering at a local gym, AND being sexually harassed like its her job – which it kind of is.

Cooper has it hard for Ali, he’s not sure at first if it’s just because she reminds him of his ex, or if he likes her for her. But either way he wants to see if fucking her will get Ali AND his ex out of his system. Levi wants to sleep with her too, Levi of the infamous 12 inch cock (did we google 12 inch cock? Only we and our filthy shameful google search history know the answer to that), and the boys in the band arrange a bet to see who will sleep with Ali and when and where. These boys like their bets. Zed, the drummer who is like an overgrown puppy on speed, is ring leadering this and lets Alli stay with him until the tour leaves town. She sleeps on top. Of his bunk beds. Because he’s adorable and has bunk beds like Tom Hanks in Big — I’m scared drummers might really be my thing— and Ali isn’t having sex with ANYONE until the tour actually kicks off.

Here’s the deal, I really want to discuss this book in detail, but I also don’t want to ruin it for anyone who wants to read the book. So. I’m going to instruct anyone who wants to be surprised to scroll from one hot dude picture to the other hot dude picture and don’t read anything in between. Ok, ready?

levine

I felt like I needed a special trash book bingo card for this book. Mary is further into this Shame Book rabbit hole than I am, and has maybe popped a lot of her dirty book cherries already but Taint did a lot of my popping.

First: the circle jerk. That’s right, all the boys in the band decide to jerk off together, in to containers to see who releases the most…fluid. Ali is taking a nap in her bunk when they decide to do this, and wakes up to see the boys just going at it. And when they realize that she is watching things go a little awry and well… jizz everywhere.

Second: Cooper and Ali are starting to make some headway, even though both he and Levi are vying pretty hard to get that ass, Ali feels more of a connection to Cooper. Until he gets very very drunk and calls her by his ex’s name. So she flees. And ends up sleeping with Levi, which I was not expecting. We are already out way of any standard romance story lines here. And Levi really does have a 12 inch trouser snake:

I wrap the blanket around my body and hobble from the room – yes, you read that right – I hobble, because holy huge dick batman, I feel like I rode a stallion bareback halfway to fucking Texas

Third: Cooper isn’t happy that Levi bagged Ali before he did, but instead of getting mad in a traditional way he decides that to fix things he and Ali need to have sex WITH Levi. Surprise threesome! Bingo!

I could take one for the team – or two for the team – as the case may be.

We fell asleep in a puppy pile, our bodies a tangle of tired limbs.

I feel like Jenner put that puppy pile line in there just for me, good work, Miss.

And they continue to operate as a triumvirate (when I learned that word from Julius Caesar, I bet this is not how my English teacher envisioned me using it). On the tour bus, in the back of a limo, in an elevator that gets stuck between floors with no lights on. Elevator threesome! Bingo!

josh mario

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Spoilers over! Focus on the hot guy with the kitty and don’t look up.

Ali and Cooper have a unique set of problems to work through to get to their HEA, but I was happy to stick with them while they figured things out. I enjoyed the dialog in this one, Ali is funny and spunky and handles all the crazy that has become her life in ways that seem realistic –  that is when how completely unrealistic the book events are is taken into account. The sex is plentiful, varied, and hot. All points to the author on that front. It has been a while since a book surprised me so greatly and I sent so many messages to Mary and Paperback Purist with so many exclamation points. I’m recommending this one with the caveat that its dirty dirty, not just a little dirty, so be prepared. I’m also totally going back to read the author’s other books! She has me hooked.

Amazon

Play, by Kylie Scott

play

Grade: A+

Doing it at: 64%

Catnip: Rock Stars; Tattoos; Drummers; Limo Sex; Stage Dive; Funny Guys; Beta Heroes; Fake Relationship; Gateway Books

Shame Scale: All of the Stage Dive covers are pretty shame-y. A hot tattooed torso stretched across a bed is pretty much not going to belong to anything but a sex book. The plot is real though! And I love the dialog in this one, and would recommend it to a romance newbie I was trying to bring to the dark side. Low-medium shame.

Fantasy Cast: Chris Hemsworth (his giant Thor arms are from drumming in this fantasy) and Rose Leslie

Book Description:

Mal Ericson, drummer for the world-famous rock band Stage Dive, needs to clean up his image fast–at least for a little while. Having a good girl on his arm should do the job just fine. Mal doesn’t plan on this temporary fix becoming permanent, but he didn’t count on finding the one right girl.

Anne Rollins never thought she’d ever meet the rock god who plastered her teenage bedroom walls–especially not under these circumstances. Anne has money problems. Big ones. But being paid to play the pretend girlfriend to a wild life-of-the-party drummer couldn’t end well. No matter how hot he is. Or could it?


Malcolm Ericson might be my favorite book boyfriend of all the trashy romance books I have inhaled this year. There have been a lot of obsessive, possessive, alpha boys– wooing girls into bed with martial prowess and relentless libido. But Mal doesn’t fall under that category. Mal is just really really funny. Mal will make you giggle until you just jump him. He will Literally Charm. Your. Pants. Off.

literally

Basically what I’m trying to say is that this will not be an objective review of Play, maybe Mary could do one, but I wanted to sell everyone on reading this and witnessing the glory.

Anne works at a book shop, she had a shitty adolescence, and has zero romantic life to speak of; minus a big crush on her boss. Until she meets Mal at a Stage Dive party she’s attending with her friend Lauren. She’s having a bad day, her room-mate moved out like a thief in the night leaving her with debt and simmering anger, she is not in a party mood even though she is a BIG Stage Dive fan. More specifically she is a BIG Mal Ericson fan (this book is the first time I’ve ever seen the appeal of a drummer, I tell my daughter all the time Never Date a Drummer). When she meets him in real life she gives him what Mal deems “the crazy eyes”, and he decides that they should pretend to date, for the good of them both. But while Anne knows why it’s good for her– he’ll pay her rent and buy her a new couch and he’s Mal freakin’ Ericson and she’s been in love with him 4Eva– he won’t tell Anne what’s in it for him. In fact he doesn’t want to talk about anything serious, he just wants to keep everything light and funny. And very very flirty.

“Your cheeks have gone all rosy. Are you thinking rude thoughts about me, Anne?”

“No.”

“Liar,” he taunted in a soft voice. “You’re totally thinking of me with no pants on.”

I totally was.

“That’s just gross, dude. A massive invasion of my privacy.” He leaned in closer, his breath warming my ear. “Whatever you’re imagining, it’s bigger.”

As these book fake relationships go, Mal and Anne decide that it will be all business, no sex, no feelings, they’re just FRIENDS. Except Mal is bad at boundaries and Anne really does want to see him without his pants on, she can’t stop having the Crazy Eyes. Mal doesn’t like Anne’s boss, Reece, who she has been quietly lusting after for years. Reece dates A LOT, lots of girls who aren’t Anne, but he likes having Anne as his eternal back up plan. Always good for a hang out, or to cover an extra shift at the book store, always when its convenient for Reece and never when its convenient for Anne. When Reece shows up at Anne’s apartment at 5 am on Mal’s second night in residence, smelling of alcohol and some other girl’s perfume (but with donuts!), Mal is distinctly displeased with how Reece treats Anne:

“A?” asked Mal, crossing his arms over his chest. He turned and winked at me. “You call her ‘A? What, saying her whole name’s too much of a commitment for you?”

And Anne seems to realize for maybe first time that Reece isn’t the dream guy she’s convinced herself he can be, especially when he tells her that she could do way better for a hook up than Mal:

“Shit, Reece, how can you even…” I stared at Mal, frowned, and cocked my head. So much skin. I looked and looked until I hit the dusting of dark blonde hair leading down from his belly button, heading straight for No-Anne Land. He had a treasure trail. A map to hidden delights. The donut box trembled in my hands.

What I like about Anne is that she pretty quickly knows that Mal’s hidden delights trump Reece’s donuts, hands down. And even though we don’t get doing it until 64%, we get a pretty awesome bathtub make-out at 57% and a bed breaking scene before that. They’re not technically having sex when they break the bed, but it’s a great scene anyway. And back to that bath tub scene? Fully clothed Mal climbing into the tub with Anne, neither caring that they’re essentially flooding the apartment just does it for me. Despite my rational brain knowing how not sexy wet jeans are in real life, in books they’re just fine and dandy. When the doing it does happen (“Hello Anne’s clitoris. It’s me, Malcolm, your lord and master”) both characters agree that they’re not faking it anymore, this is real and they want to see where it will go.

The last 30% of Play gives us the inevitable book break up and reconciliation, it wouldn’t be a shame book without one, all the couples have to battle for their HEA. I love Mal and Anne so much that I didn’t have any moments of not rooting for them, and very little annoyance and eye rolling. This is my A+ read, it’s fully mybookshame endorsed, and if you’ve got  a friend you’re looking to ruin it would make a fantastic gateway book.

Check it out on Amazon: