Sordid, by Nikki Sloane

sordid

Grade: B-

Doing it at: This is making me feel squicky, but we’ll go with 13%

Catnip: Light College Romance JK LOL, Banned books, Dark Romance, Serbian Mafia Car Salesmen, Serbian Pillowtalk, Just The Tip, Nonconsensual Sex, Choking, Bondage, #TeamAnal, We Like What We Like

Shame Scale: Every bit of shame you could possibly muster

Fantasy Cast:  Amy Jo Johnson circa Felicity, plus Ian Somerhalder

Book Description:

It took me years to find the courage to speak to Luka. He seemed exactly like me. Intelligent. Focused. Serious.

But he’s not the man I imagined.

His reality is cruel and dark. He traps me in his web, his power twisting tighter the more I struggle, until it’s hopeless. I can’t break free.

As he drags me unwillingly into his filthy world, I can’t ignore the terrifying idea circling my mind. What if I belong here with him?


Mary: There’s been some buzz about Nikki Sloane’s Sordid for awhile now, after Amazon banned it from their site for “offensive content.” So duh, we had to have it. Tell me I can’t have something and I’ll want it double.

Cleone: Plus we were like, how bad can it be really? We’ve read lots of twisted sex books in our romance rabbit hole.

Mary: We picked it up on Smashwords, but you can still buy it on iBooks and Kobo. And then we decided that it sounded like the perfect book to read during our Autumn camping trip to Shenandoah National Park with all our children and my mom.

Cleone: Nothing says wholesome family fun like buddy reading some BDSM amongst stunning fall foliage, as your children frolic nearby.

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Dirty Deeds, by Karina Halle

dirty deeds

Grade: B+

Doing it at: 34%

Catnip: Mexican Drug Cartels, Dark Romance, Dangerous Criminal Villain, He’s Basically A Criminal, Deep Dark Secret, Gun For Hire

Shame Scale: This is essentially an espionage/action novel with detailed sex scenes, no shame. Maybe be careful that your kid isn’t reading over your shoulder though.

What Do We Taste Like?: Like licking raw coconut

Fantasy Cast: Channing Tatum, Ximena Navarrete

Book Description:

As a flight attendant, Alana Bernal has had her share of suitors. She’s also had more than her fair share of tragedy within her messed-up family. But what she hasn’t had is love. Real, rip-your-heart-out, tear-your-clothes-off, all-consuming love. 

At least that was the case until she met an American tourist, Derek Conway, a ripped ex-soldier with steely eyes and a commanding presence. 

What started as a chance encounter between the two in Puerto Vallarta, a weekend full of hot sex and mindless passion, has led to something more. 

Something deadly. 

Because Derek isn’t the type of man to fall in love. He’s not a man who sticks around. 

And he’s definitely not in Mexico on vacation. 

Derek is a mercenary, a killer-for-hire, a man who does the ugly jobs for the highest bidder. 

Unfortunately for Alana and Derek, the highest bidder has the power to destroy whatever worlds they have created for themselves. 

The highest bidder can destroy everything. 


Mary: This is book two in the Dirty Angels series. It’s a standalone, so you don’t need to have read Dirty Angels first, but we would definitely recommend that you do for backstory – and also because it has the hottest motherfucking drug cartel leader hero in book history.

Cleone: You should definitely read Dirty Angels. Or don’t and let Javier be all mine.

M: Dirty Deeds follows Alana Bernal, Javier from Dirty Angels’ sister, and Derek Conway, the ex-soldier turned assassin who was contracted to kill her.

C: Derek is known in the cartel circles as “The American.” He works for anyone who can afford to pay him and doesn’t ask any annoying like questions, like “Hey, why does this person have to actually DIE, like did he mess up your Netflix algorithm?”

Derek goes to take Alana out with a sniper rifle, but he hesitates seeing her in person. She’s beautiful and full of life, and for just a second he isn’t sure he can go through with it. During that moment of hesitation a car comes whizzing up and hits Alana square on, then whizzes off. Without thinking, Derek peels out after the car assailant, catches up to him, and shoots him in the head. He’s the only one who gets to kill her.

M: #Alpha

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Dirty Angels, by Karina Halle

Dirty Angels

Grade: A-

Doing it at: 68%

Catnip: Mexican Drug Cartels, Dark Romance, Dangerous Criminal Villain, He’s Basically A Criminal, Revenge, Hate To Love You, Stockholm Syndrome, Virgin

Shame Scale: I don’t even know why we’re still rating this. We’re hardly ashamed of anything anymore. No shame, even though the hero is a savage who literally enjoys sawing off people’s body parts.

What Do We Taste Like?: Seductive, more delicious than milk and honey. “I should drink you with my tea in the mornings.”

Fantasy Cast: Gael Garcia Bernal, A young Penelope Cruz

Book Description:

For Luisa Chavez, a twenty-three year old former beauty queen, a better life has always been just out of her reach. Sure, she’s had men at her feet since she was a young teenager but she’s never had the one thing she’s craved – security. Having grown up in near poverty, her waitressing job in Cabo San Lucas can barely let her take care of herself, let alone her ailing parents. Every day is another unwanted advance, every day is a struggle to survive. 

When Salvador Reyes, the depraved leader of a major Mexican cartel, takes an interest in her, Luisa is presented with an opportunity she can’t afford to pass up. She’ll become Salvador’s wife and exchange her freedom and body for a life of riches – riches she can bestow upon her deserving parents. But Luisa quickly finds out that even the finest wines and jewels can’t undo the ugliness in her marriage, nor the never-ending violence that threatens her every move. 

Soon, Luisa is looking for an escape, a way out of the carefully controlled life she’s leading. She finally gets her wish in the worst way possible. 

As it is, being the wife of Salvador makes her an ideal target for rival cartels and there’s one particular man who needs Luisa as part of his cartel’s expansion. One particular man whose quest for power has destroyed lives, slit throats and gotten him out of an American prison. One particular man who will stop at nothing until he gets what he wants. 

That man is Javier Bernal. And he wants Luisa. He wants to take her, keep her, ruin her. 

Unless she ruins him first. 

Some men were born to create empires, some women were meant to be queen. 


Mary: This book was so much fun, you guys. It’s a dark romance, but it’s also really light, if that makes any sense? The hero is a ruthless savage who kidnaps the heroine and literally carves his name in her back, but it was also incredibly funny and sexy. And not in a torture pain sexy way, but in a legit that sex sounds real fun way.

Dirty a 8

M: We met Javier in The Artist Trilogy, and admittedly, Cleone and I were both strongly #Team Cam, but with sympathy for Javier – so I was looking forward to him getting his HEA.

C: Javier is a real bad man, he’s not like villain-lite or a guy who just made some bad choices, he’s damaged and dangerous. He’s everything Dylan McKay claims to be when he says he’s mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

M: This book picks up several years after we last saw Javier. He’s back in Mexico, and is now the leader of a medium sized drug cartel.

C: He has money and power, but not as much as he would like, Javier is looking to move up the ranks and control more of Mexico’s drug trade. Reading these books is making Mexico sound like a really scary place, googling cartel+violence is making it seem even scarier. You might want to safe-search your images if you decide to do that, I don’t know your level of comfort for pictures of corpses on pastoral roadsides.

M: Luisa Chavez is a ex-beauty queen, struggling to make ends meet while taking care of her parents. (Note – googling “Mexican beauty queen” is also a terribly depressing search) One day, Salvador Reyes, the leader of Mexico’s largest and most powerful drug cartel, walks into the bar where she works, asks her some really intrusive questions, and just generally scares the crap out of her.

When he asks her to marry him, she says yes, because it would allow her to give her parents a better life. And also because she’s no dummy. She knows that if she says no he’ll kill her.

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