Classic Casting Couch: Humpdays of Yore

Because they had Wednesdays way back before the internet age too.

Clark Gable

This man caused a whole generation of men to stop wearing undershirts.

Good for: Men who fight for the South and want to crawl under your hoop skirt. Scoundrels who can charm your grandma out of her panties.

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Harry Belafonte

He sang pretty, he looked pretty, a double threat

Good for: The manager of the nightclub who gives an innocent young singer her big break and ushers her into womanhood. The boy you meet at a USO dance and write letters to on the home front.

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Paul Newman

No man can eat fifty eggs, but I bet this one could get any woman to watch him try.

Good for: Sexy grifters. The cool eyed boy who is in your class at law school and never sweats but turns out to be screwing the dean’s wife and is insatiably dirty in bed.

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Robert Redford

The prettiest, America’s ultimate golden boy.

Good for: The boy next door that you’ve never stopped crushing on. The newly divorced dad of your very favorite student who seems to have a thing for third grade teachers. Smooth talkers with beautiful mouths.

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And a hot guy two-for-one of Butch and Sundance reminding us why tiny shorts should be worn by men


Marlon Brando

So pretty in his younger years. The eye roll that broke a thousand ovaries.

Good for: Old timey bare knuckle boxers. The rough neck gangster that your dad brings home but forbids you to date so you pull him into the linen closet to make out whenever the maid isn’t looking.

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Harrison Ford

The coolest guy in the Universe

Good For: Wise cracking adventurers, professors who lock the door, pull the shades, and bend you over the desk during their office hours. Men who hit fifty and are still hot enough to make you look twice.

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It was so hard to narrow this down that you’re getting bonus Beatty, Poitier, and Van Dyke:

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