Drinking at the Movies: Witness

Cleone: Mary and I decided to watch Witness a few weeks ago while we were reading Truth or Beard. There was a scene that reminded us of this scene of Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis, dancing to Sam Cook in the barn:

So Mary arranged the best date ever: lobster rolls, caprese salad, nor’easters, and peak Harrison Ford.

Mary: It was really the best date.

As always what follows is mostly a stream of conscious account spiked by drinking and pausing to tend to children who don’t care about the slow burn romance. If you aren’t familiar with the film we suggest reading the wiki page, or renting it on Amazon. It might even be on Netflix?


The movie opens on a pastoral Amish montage, people traveling on foot and by buggy, to a funeral for Rachel’s husband.

Mary: Amish style really hasn’t changed much in 30 years, except for the hair. The hair is much worse now.

Cleone: Rachel is such a biblical name, it’s such an awful name. I’m glad that it’s gone out of style.

You know, I was born in an Amish hospital. I played with amish dolls when I was little, their names were Sarah and Abraham. They didn’t have any faces. I named them myself.

More Amish life montage. Then we get a jarring cut to CARS and TRAINS, and modern things.

M: Everything was so great, until the CITY moved in .

C: Little Lucas Haas. He’s so cute.

Rachel and her son, Samuel, are off to the city for something. We missed that bit. Her father, Eli, and another guy, Daniel, are there to see them off. Daniel is making all sorts of obvious yet modest moves towards the newly widowed Rachel.

M: Man, that guy really wants to bone her.

C: But she wants to bone Harrison Ford. You know who’s hotter than 1980’s Harrison Ford?

M: No one.

Ford gif 1

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