American Queen, by Sierra Simone

american-queen

Grade: B+

Doing it at: 38%

Catnip: MMF, Presidential Plowing, May-December Romance, Dom in Chief, Psychics, All the Angles of the Triangle, Powerful Men, Magical Realism, Arthurian Lore

Shame Scale: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Fantasy Cast:  Gigi Hadid, Tom Hiddleston, Lee Pace

Book Description:


It starts with a stolen kiss under an English sky, and it ends with a walk down the aisle. It starts with the President sending his best friend to woo me on his behalf, and it ends with my heart split in two. It starts with buried secrets and dangerous desires…and ends with the three of us bound together with a hateful love sharper than any barbed wire.

My name is Greer Galloway, and I serve at the pleasure of the President of the United States.

This is the story of an American Queen.


Cleone: It’s here guys! Super Tuesday is finally here, and we survived the election campaign onslaught, and the circus that is our country. And our reward? Our reward is the banana-pants-super-filthy-delightful American Queen.

Mary: This was not only the M/M/F election themed book we needed, it was the one we deserved.

C: Mary read this one about two days ahead of me (I am slow, it is an eternal shame and sadness) and was essentially dying for me to catch up to her. I didn’t quite understand her urgency, but holy shit, everybody hie thee to the book buying emporium of your choice and get this book.

M: I was texting random people about this book just so I didn’t spoil it for her and it was SO HARD. Also, this was the first book I’ve gotten Cleone to read where the M’s are next to each other and not separated by an F. I maybe didn’t mention this at all in the hopes that I could trick her into reading it, because I’ve been trying to get her to read M/M for forever.

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This is the newest from Sierra Simone, who wrote one of my absolute favorite filthy books of 2015: Priest. Remember that one? The one where they got cum on the altar cloth and used sacred oils as anal lube? At this point she’s got me, I’ll literally buy anything she writes.

C: American queen is the story of Ash, the President of the United States, and Greer, the girl who has loved him forever. She is the beautiful granddaughter of a former Vice President. She met Ash when she was a teenager, and they had a hot five minutes in a library that ended when he was pulled away by the wizard who serves as his political consultant.

That’s right, I said a wizard. Named Merlin. Who met Greer when she was a young girl and warned her to keep her kisses to herself, so she didn’t like destroy the world or anything.

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M: Who doesn’t love their M/M/F erotic political romances with a touch of magical realism and parallels to Arthurian lore?

C: For the most part Greer does just that, she studies, and she works, and she lets her cousin Abilene be the family slut while holding on to her virtue. The only man she can’t resist is the handsome, rising in power Ash. And when Ash rejects her she falls into bed with his best friend, and his future Vice President. Which is not at all awkward when Ash decides that he needs to have Greer in his bed and by his side, and sends Embry to fetch her.

M: But shhh, Ash doesn’t know about their history.

C: Embry and Ash served in the army together, they fought together, and Ash saved Embry’s life. The two are best friends, like Joe and Bo, only closer. If you’re picking up what I’m lying down.

M:   dirty-emoji

C: Ash feels the need to be in control of every aspect of his life, and that includes in his love life. This is no Christian and Ana situation though, Greer is just as into this as Ash is. In fact, she wrote him some emails detailing her desires after their first encounter. His kink is her kink, they’re super compatible and in love guys.

I don’t want boring common ways of being bad. I want ways that rattle me to my bones, that send me to my knees in repentence, want the kind of bad that leaves me wrung out with bite marks blooming purple on my body. 

C: If you are in the mood for drama, and threesomes, and wonderful euphemisms for the anus– this book is for you!

One brush of his tongue against my darkest secret

The pleated rosebud.

Gradually and almost lazily breaching my most elemental barrier.

Those three quotes alone make the price of the book worth it, but don’t worry there’s so much more to enjoy. I was going through this book highlighting like crazy, and loving every second.

M: It’s gloriously over the top.

“I’m nothing, I’m everything, I’m the light and the dark and the air and the void. Strong force, weak force, gravity, electricity, magnetism are all pinning me underneath this violent, tragic soldier, and as he fucks the literal breath out of me, and as I see stars and as I squirm in abject pleasure, I know everything is true. String theory, magic, multiple lives, miracles, God, parallel universes, it’s all true and it’s all real and it’s all happening inside me right now at this very instant as my climax detonates like a dying star inside me.”

STRING THEORY. DEAD.

C: Most, most, most importantly American Queen gave us our dirty book white whale, the one kink, that despite our voracious reading habits had somehow eluded us. And I have never been more delighted.

M: We read a lot of weird books and my jaw dropped when it happened. It’s worth the price just so you can catalog that one scene in your smutlopedia.

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M: This book was the perfect distraction for all my election induced anxiety.

C: I don’t think I can recommend this one emphatically enough, buy it today, ignore the election results coming in if you can, and revel in a fantasy America where one woman can have everything.

M: Well, make sure you vote first. THEN cast your vote for a P and a VP who share a V.

Check it out:

Amazon • iBooks

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