The Offer, by Karina Halle

the offer

Grade: A

Doing it at: 58%

Catnip: Single Moms; Hot Scot; Ass Biting; Car Sex; Hate to Love You; Exhibitionism; Dual Narrative;  #fingersniffing

Shame Scale: The cover (almost) looks like it could belong to a Real Book, and the characters are written for more than just screwing, shame free

Fantasy Cast: James McAvoy + CLEONE (What? It’s FANTASY casting, ok)

What do we taste like: Like rich tobacco and mint

Book Description:

She thinks he’s an arrogant playboy.
He thinks she’s an uptight prude.
But he’s about to make her an offer she can’t refuse.

Nicola Price used to have it all – a great career, the perfect boyfriend, an excessive shoe collection and an apartment in one of San Francisco’s best neighborhoods. But when she gets knocked up and her a**hat boyfriend leaves her high and dry, Nicola’s perfectly crafted world comes tumbling down. And stays that way.

Now, Nicola is the proud single mom to a five-year old daughter and living a giant lie. She can barely afford their ghetto apartment and all the men she dates run when they hear she comes with a child. She’s struggling and scared – and nowhere near where she thought she’d be at age thirty-one.

Her saving grace comes in the form of a tall, handsome and wealthy Scotsman Bram McGregor, the older brother of her friend Linden. Bram understands a thing or two about pride, so when tragic circumstances place Nicola at rock bottom, he offers them a place to live in the apartment complex he owns. It’s pretty much the perfect deal, so as long as she doesn’t mind living beside Bram, a man that, despite his generosity, seems to antagonize her at every turn.

But nothing in life is free and as Nicola gets her feet back on the ground, she discovers that the enigmatic playboy may end up costing her more than she thought.

She might just lose her heart.

Those McGregor brothers are nothing but trouble…

MaryI’ve been begging Cleone to read a Karina Halle book for months. The Artist Trilogy, Love in English, Where Sea Meets Sky, The Pact… Everything I’ve read by Karina Halle has been fantastic – truly relatable characters, writing you can lose yourself in, and steamy. And I still haven’t had the chance to make it all the way through her books – our girl is prolific. When we saw there was a sequel to The Pact on its way, Cleone finally found time to pick up The Pact, and she loved it, as I knew she would. (I know what you like, C.) We dove into The Offer together, our new favorite way to read books – and it was pretty clear that this one was written for her.

Cleone: The Offer is pure catnip for me, single mom fallen on hard times? Fired a week before her probationary period was up and she’d get health insurance and a raise? (that happened to me, only it was also two weeks before Christmas) And now there’s this super hot Scottish guy who wants to take care of her and fuck her into next year? Tell me Karina Halle didn’t write this just for me, I won’t believe you.

M: And don’t forget that  she says she’s basic! You are Nicola. You should start looking online for local Scottish playboys, because it’s obviously going to happen for you.

C: I read The Pact directly before The Offer, after much urging from Mary, who knew what I would like before I did. That book was hot and sweet and raunchy and I’m pleased to say that I wasn’t disappointed in Bram’s raunch level either. There’s a reason Halle is using the hashtag #teamperv on Instagram, we love her.

M: The story is of the woman who has been burned before meets playboy type. Nicola is a single mom who’s having a rough go of things lately – money troubles, loss of job, sketchy apartment, and her daughter is having medical problems. Bram (Linden from The Pact’s brother) offers to let her move into the apartment building he owns, rent free, until she gets back on her feet. Nicola has a hard time accepting charity from others, but especially from Bram.

Nicola and Bram made out at Linden and Steph’s wedding, but when she told him that she has to get home to her daughter, he shuts it down fast, and manages to find another woman to take off into the bushes before Nicola’s cab even shows up. Her ego is bruised, and she’s definitely not a fan of Bram – hot as he may be.

C: Nicola is known as the ice princess in her friend circle, she’s dedicated to that mom life and hasn’t had sex for so long. She’s on #teamcobwebs. Bram isn’t shy about telling her he thinks she’s an undersexed prude. They’re not off to the best start.

M: Regardless, she’s in such a bad spot, she has really no choice but to accept his generous offer, and she and her daughter move in next door to him. Bram has a constant parade of women in and out of his apartment, but he starts to fixate on Nicola.

C: It bothers Mary more than it bothers me when our girl can hear the manwhore next door banging a steady stream of throwaway skanks (this trope happens more than you might think). I figure as long as our pair aren’t together quite yet he can screw whomever he wants.

M: It just means he has to work a *tiny* bit harder for redemption in my mind. Bram was really charming in that bold, kind of slutty way you secretly want to be treated like in real life though, so he won me over pretty quickly – even with all the strange he rubbed our noses in. Plus he says arse all the time, which was really doing it for me for some reason. His general attitude was obscenely sexy – like this casual conversation about finding a job for example:

What’s wrong with bartending? You’re fucking hot too, so you’ll make a lot of tips. If you show off your nice tits a bit, you could make even more.

C: Nicola is having a hard time not thinking about him as well, she even tries to go out with her lady friends to screw Bram out of her system with anyone BUT Bram. Of course, this doesn’t work. Only schtupping the hot scot next door will do her.

M: And this book was fucking hottt, and not in the funny way – in the smoldering put it in the spank bank way. Halle knows how to write about the sex we wish we were having.

He shoots me a wicked smile and then runs his fingers – the same fingers that were inside me just moments ago – underneath his nose and breathes in. “I’ll be back for more of this,” he say thickly.

C: #fingersniffing Forever hot, we were reading in tandem and texting over how hot this all was. Bram is just controlling enough, talks very very dirty, and knows how to use his fingers for things other than sniffing. There is car sex that is ranking up pretty high in the spank-bank-o-meter:

He slowly begins to slide out and then pushes back in, holding me in place until I start to slip. Then my hands are up against the door of the car, my face pressed against the fogged-up window as he slams into me again and again.

the offer text

He is also extremely sweet with Nicola’s five-year old daughter – who is really well-behaved, where does a real life single mom get herself one of these book kids?

M: Right? I don’t know a man alive who doesn’t act annoyed when a kid repeatedly cockblocks like Nicola’s daughter. My husband included.

When the relationship drama inevitably appeared, Cleone and I were both wishing that Nicola could be a little more understanding and just get past it already.

let it go

C: Bram had a secret he was hiding,  it was alluded to but not revealed until the last quarter of the book, and by then Mary and I had correctly guessed what he had neglected to tell Nicola. Yes, it was kind of shitty, but Bram is a super hot guy who makes you weak kneed, saved you from being homeless, and took your kid to Disneyland — maybe think before you freak out.

M: He had me at the car sex. He could literally do almost anything after that point and I would have been like, “Dat accent tho.”

C: The Offer was such a fun, hot, little read. If you have a single mom in your life you’re looking to ruin, this is the PERFECT Gateway Book. It will also change what you think about when you think about IKEA.

M: It’s also great for anyone with a vagina, and moms who might occasionally fantasize about being a single mom who meets a gorgeous Scot who just wants her to ride his giant bagpipe all day. You don’t do that? Me either…

And it’s on sale for only 99 cents for a limited time. That’s a fantastic deal. We pay way more than that for total trash on the reg, and this one’s like an actual Book. (For fucksake we preordered Grey) You should definitely pick this one up if you’re looking for a fun book.

Check it out on Amazon:

5 thoughts on “The Offer, by Karina Halle

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